So the latest slap in my face from my brother whom you've learned a little about in my last journal comes as no surprise.
I was eighteen and embarking on a path through college. At that time I had wanted to pursue a career in writing by achieving a journalism degree. My father had great journalism skills and had little opposition however my now dead mother was grossly against the idea and tried unsuccessfully to derail my direction. So she acquired the only ammunition she could muster - the manipulation of my then best friend my brother Joe. She wrapped him around her finger and used him to get to me. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I gave up the idea, changed my degree plans and thanks to all of them and my weak psyche I dropped out of college all together. But I didn't stop writing I just composed short stories and novels in secret only to delete them from existence once I failed to find support.
Yesterday I received an email from my deadbeat brother who as you know has blocked me from Facebook. Yes, I'm still crying over it. But the insult comes by means he is asking everyone he knows to donate $125 so he can self-publish. Why doesn't the guy go out and get a real job and earn the money himself? I don't understand it. So many people self-publish and their books sit in the back of the bookstore with dust. I wonder why he doesn't grow a set of balls and try to get it published the old fashioned way. I'll tell you why - because and editor will want changes and revisions and my proud brother wouldn't allow it. The world really does revolve around him just so you know.
I don't know why I can't forgive him for making it his purpose in life to derail my dreams and now he's doing the very thing I wanted in the first place. Perhaps I should write a book about my fucked up childhood and how it's made me into who I am WITHOUT the support of a blood family, but with the support of a real family - all of you!
How would he like THAT slap in HIS face? Only time will tell.